Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
