If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
