I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
