What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
