Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
