can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did I show you my penis last night?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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