Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
