I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
