i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
