And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
