Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
