Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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