He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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