oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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