Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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