lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The best revenge is premature balding
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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