you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
