I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize