last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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