Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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