I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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