Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
