As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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