Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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