Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
