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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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