areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
