i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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