He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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