I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
