i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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