For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
