I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
