Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
