i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
