I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize