I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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