what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
