im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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