I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
