I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
