After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize