Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize