glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
