woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
