i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
