its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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