So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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