the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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