Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
