I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize