first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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