ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
