She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize