Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she looked like the before picture.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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