Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
