she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
did i just pee glitter
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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