ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
