it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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