Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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