things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
