i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's blow job season.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
