I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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