Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
