yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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