Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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