I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
