Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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