Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
