I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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